Sunday Morning In The Sunshine

What a beautiful day I see out my window and within.

Bright rhododendron reds grace the front of my house, and they are what I see first. Along the drive way, two friendly wooden children stand waving to each passerby. My sis, Sue, brought them with her when she moved in with me. They are as cute as can be in their pastel colored painted clothing, big black eyes, a soft stroked smile. I smile back every time I come home.

My son, Skeet, has been mowing.... and mowing more. I hear the sound of the Weed Eater almost every day, as he tries to stay ahead of the work that a large yard produces. He is staying with me for now. His life is unstable right now, and this place, this home, has always represented stability and safety for whoever comes.

I sit out in the sunshine(I'm heading out as soon as I leave here)and count my blessings. God has surely favored me. :) My needs are small, but I am so rich. Above all, I need harmony. I feel that in my back yard.

I look around and see the efforts of each of us to contribute to the feeling of all. The flowers Sue planted last year are back. The little brick memorial out in the "back garden" area that Skeet has created in memory of his dad is beautiful in aged brown and tan brick. A single Fox Glove stands tall, surrounded by deep green Ivy clinging to the redwood fence. To the left a white climbing rose tries nobly to bloom despite the diseased leaves. For now, I leave it. Tiny white blooms cascade from spindly branches. How can I say "you haven't done enough. You are sick and ugly?" I'll plant petunia's in the rich dirt above the bricks and watch their bright colors bring beauty to the little sick rose. And when I sit and see....I'll smile at the love I am embracing. A flowering plum, having dropped it's petals long ago, offers limbs to hold three hanging baskets of flowers. One is from my son, two years ago on Mother's Day(it keeps blooming and I add seed), another is from my daughter, Rene, for Mother's Day this year, filled with lavish blooms, and the third is one that my youngest daughter, Kim, gave to her Aunt Sue because her children weren't near for Mother's Day. The colors are so vibrant and the blooms looks as though they'll be spreading joy for the full season. They are happy baskets, and I respond whenever I walk out the back door and see them.

Today I'll buy the potting soil to fill up the rest of the herb garden. We'll get herbs that we want, and have fresh herbs near.......right out the back door in a place created just for them.

I have been fasting since Wednesday. It's nothing I planned for, nothing I thought of Tuesday night....it just happened Wednesday morning as I sat out in the sunshine, reading the Bible. I drink watered vegetable juice.

There are some things that I need balanced in my life. Food, both physical for the physical body and spiritual for my Spiritual body. If I will feed my spirit by meditating on God's Word, spending alone time, heart to Heart, stillness to hear His voice, reading the Bible to find not only Christ, but my simple little self, then the balance will begin to take root in my life. I think this was what the fast was called for. I need to focus on what matters most. I know in these few days, I have come to the place of my First Love again. My heart is softened and willing to hear His whisper. Yesterday the presence of God was so heavy...as sweet heaviness...just a being together. It's almost as though, rather than "hearing" his voice, I "absorb" His will and his nature. If that doesn't make sense, it doesn't have to. :) God's love, in Jesus the Messiah, is beyond understanding. I feel His love pouring over me and into me, and that doesn't make sense to me. Why? I don't deserve this. I have come to understand one thing. God is Love. That's just who He is. I surrender to that Love. He said He would change me from Glory to Glory. Can you imagine? Can you imagine? Joy not measured by circumstances, peace and harmony are mine because they are His.

I'm writing to myself. I'm writing this because I am so filled up and cannot contain it. :)

Tomorrow may be another time of testing, or a valley experience, but today is mine and I'll hold it and love it and lean on Jesus' heart and just lift my face in awe.

So this is my day. A beautiful day, without and within.