
Just going back over some of my pictures and found another sunset one. :)
I must be in the dark-side-of-the-moon now. I don't think I'm depressed, but I can't seem to reach out either.
I've been here before, and always before, I would just let the flow take me in, and find that place within each of us where we meet with God. It seems so silly that we find any and all reasons not to be still and quiet allow God to touch us. I confess silliness. And as I type, I am seeing something. It's not that I have nothing to say or share, it's that the only thing I could talk about is where I am now, and right at the top is my need for the Lord's touch. My heart feels cold. Yep, I've been here before, and I never like it, but I always learn something about myself, and about my relationship with Christ Jesus.
I can go day after day and talk to friends about Him....read the Words He has spoken in the Bible, and do all the right things that look good, but in my heart, He feels far away. Someone once said that if you feel far away from God's heart, you moved, He didn't. I only know I miss my heart loving Him. There is no other feeling in the world like knowing you are loved by God, and feeling your heart melt with the awesome truth that what you feel for Him is real love and right love and for Him alone.
You'd think I would stay in that place always. I don't think I "fit" anywhere but there. And still I wander away, like a child, and though I know He is watching over me, I lose the intimacy that is mine in daily turning my mind and heart toward Him.
I almost didn't write. My big deal in life is trying not to offend a single soul. Isn't that silly? Of course I'll offend! I can look at it logically and see that, yet my choices still seem to be not to cause anyone hurt or offend or put out or whatever.... and I lose myself. Maybe not lose myself, but lose sight my own uniqueness while applauding everyone elses. You ever do that?
What a hodgepodge of thoughts here. I'm not too focused tonight. That's ok. Not all things are focused.....somethings blurred become beautiful in hindsight. I'll take that.
G'night from lala land on the coast, Nita